Thursday, November 23, 2023


 4 weeks since my surgery. Healing going well.

Chronically understimulated. Going to a textile art exhibition now, with a new friend.  Nervous. 

Utterly bored with doing the same things in the city for years on end, yet apprehensive and scared about doing new things. Hobbies and telly at home are driving me spare, craving seeing new people, yet also want leaving alone in peace and quiet.

Am preparing conversation topics in my head and thinking how to mentally prepare myself for a busy building, with loud talking and potentially no areas to sit down. Whilst also wanting new experiences.

Listening to music to regulate myself, and brought spinning to do in a cafe first. Also have PTerry's autobiography to read, but am concerned about it leaving me emotionally open and overwhelmed, even though I'm otherwise feeling numb and stuck.

I swear to gods, autism and ADHD can be a terrible combination.

Wednesday, October 11, 2023

I finished The Walking Dead

And dear gods that was a chore.

First few seasons were good enough. Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes was mesmerising. Lauren Cohan as Maggie was really good and mesmerising as notBela Talbot.

It was getting dull by season 6, I only held on till 8 to watch JDM as Negan.  Negan turned out to be an utterly sociopathic maniac, and then hit a redemption arc that was thoroughly unsatisfying, because he had been so bloody awful. The show kept him on because JDM is popular.

As for the final season.....

Too many people.  Princess was underused.  Had enough stories of new communities being evil and failing.  They wait till the last two episodes to have the zombies evolve, climbing walls and using tools. Such a bloody waste.  Esp since it seemed we'd get more interesting zombies back when the whisperers were introduced. Judith's voiceovers for the last few eps were quite cringey.

The good things I can say are that they don't kill any babies or toddlers, ever, the survivors of the apocalypse are a nice diverse mix - gay people, women,many different races, and a native deaf ASL user, played by a Deaf, native ASL using actress. Connie and her sister Kelly are great.

However I ain't interested in watching a show with good rep when the story is crap.

It's just such an utterly miserable,negative story when over and over you get a group of good ppl getting fucked over by evil people.

So the end episode made it all seem happy with everyone settling at Alexandria, but it's such an obvious wrap-up episode it doesn't feel like a good story.

And that Michonne/Rick/whole group montage at the end? Come on.... It's so obviously set up for spin offs. Boring. 

Saturday, August 26, 2023

The Walking Dead

 Started watching this. Many years late, obvs, because I'm still utterly bloody minded and won't watch something everyone else is raving about. That, and I didn't care much for the comics.

Anyway. My Supernatural obsession is still alive and kicking, and I heard Jeffery Dean Morgan is in TWD so I looked it up.

JDM doesn't turn up till season 7.  However, Andrew Lincoln is the lead. Lincoln will always be Egg from This Life to me, so it's well eerie to watch him with an American accent. Much like discovering Lovejoy playing Odin.

Now on Se4 and they've got a plague. Did everything predict the fucking pandemic??!! 

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Matilda the musical

 Went to see Matilda the musical today. It was alright - suffered from a lack of audience atmosphere, not sure why, maybe the heat.

Miss Trunchbull was played by a man. I have a big problem with this. In the book she's a butch, lesbian PE teacher caricature and it's uncomfortable to read. In the musical film, Emma Thompson makes her a bit more well rounded, less caricature like.

I feel like having her played by a man feeds into the duke PE teacher caricature, and ideas of butch lesbians wanting to be men. It reduces the range of what a woman can be. It was very distasteful.

I think Matilda is autistic, or can be read as such. 

Saturday, August 19, 2023


 I feel the need to scream into the void and am wondering if I should use this again. Given that twatter has gone to shit, and I'm not sure I can be arsed to move to a similar platform.

I definitely need somewhere to spew anxiety and anger out.