Saturday, March 21, 2015

Pregnancy after stillbirth: 21 weeks 0 days

The last week and a bit has been absolutely horrendous.  When I went in for the 19 weeks heartbeat check it took her ages to find it.  Then I went down to LSCC on Saturday, which was mostly really good fun but also felt strange as last year I was there pregnant with C so it got a bit emotional at times.  Also saw my (pregnant) sister afterwards and we talked about family stuff, well I ranted, and stuff has stayed with me since then.

Then Sunday was Mother's Day which was absolutely godawful.  Then Monday was also awful so I didn't go into work as I wasn't functioning very well (and it's been a long time since I was not functioning).  Went into work on Tuesday through to Thursday, and gradually got better throughout the week.

Had another heartbeat check on Wednesday, again it took her a while to find it, but I was a lot calmer because the baby was moving just before I went in.  Thursday was the 20 week scan and everything is fine, but the scan wasn't nice and my brain was refusing to make sense of what I saw on screen.  I cried through a lot of it.

Physically my back, hips and shoulders hurt.  I think this is mostly due to sleeping with the wrong sort of pillows though.  It's a constant experiment.

In my last post I said I was going to call the midwife to ask about a bit of pain - I didn't. I'm scared to. I spoke to her about it when I saw her on Wednesday.  She said the real emergencies, and when I need to ring delivery suite are if I have reduced movement, bleeding, extensive pain, my waters break or I feel really unwell.  Anything else I ring her.

I may write up my my notes from the consultant meeting after the 20 week scan and post them here.

16 weeks to go.

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