Thursday, February 19, 2015

Pregnancy after stillbirth: 4 weeks and 5 days

I'm just about coming to accept that I'm pregnant.  Not because of the tests I've done, but because my period hasn't arrived.  I trust my body more than I trust the tests.  Ironic really, because I think it's my body that failed me last time...

I feel like I might be capable of feeling excitement about this pregnancy, but I keep reminding myself that it's so early and I could easily miscarry before 12 weeks.  1 in 4 or 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriages in the first trimester.  Logical me says there's no reason why I should be special and get past the 12 week mark.  Emotional me is convinced I'll get to 37 weeks again and then the baby will die.

I'm not feeling quite so resentful, angry or hurt when I see pregnant woman or babies around.  Christmas isn't quite so painful as it was.

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