Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Pregnancy after stillbirth: 17 weeks 3 day

I was all out of talking and then lying in bed last night stuff hit me and I had an urge to get everything out.  Which is why I write,

I've switched bras.  I'm now in the ones I got fitted for in Feb last year, going from a 30 back to a 34 back.  This isn't because the top of my torso has got fatter, it's because my bump is pushing all my organs up so I'm wider around the ribcage,  I was a month ahead this time last year.

Have I mentioned how my bump is a different shape?  It's lower.  At night when I roll over in bed sometimes I need to support my bump, or it pulls at my pelvis/groin.  I didn't have to do that last time either.  Mind you, last time I ran my first ever (and likely only) 10k race at 4 weeks gone.  I'd been going to the gym regularly for the previous year or so and my torso muscles were so much stronger.  Now they so, so much weaker.  Even the pilates can't make them tough again, not with a 5 month gap between pregnancies.  Ah well, it doesn't bother me.

I've been pretty tired these last few days.  And continuously hungry today.  It must be having a growth spurt.  Hopefully I'll get regular movements soon, then I can stop fretting that it's died inbetween midwife appointments.

My current fear is that I'll develop, or that I have, gestational diabetes.  So I want to have more fruit in the house and eat less sugar, but sometimes I just want sugar!  It's nothing out of the ordinary, just an ordinary craving, but it worries me.  I was using the myfitnesspal app to log my food, I used it before falling with C, after losing him, and continued using it until a couple of weeks ago when I just got fed up.  I liked it because it reassured me that I was eating what was necessary, and not just eating junk food. After falling again I set it to maintain for the first tri, then to gain by half a pound a week for the second tri.  Now, without it, I don't think I'm overeating and I am listening to my body more, so that's good.

I feel like i'm repeating last year, month for month, in symptoms, but the gestational dates don't match.  It's eerie,

I have a physio appointment next week to look at my knee.  I'll explain more about that later.  Considering when I left the message to book the appointment I asked them to look at my records, they didn't and had no idea of my history.  So I had to explain.  Gaahh.  They are situated in the damn maternity unit, why can't they look up records???

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