Thursday, May 28, 2009

Struggling for thoughts

(I feel there should be a general madness trigger warning here, both for the song and the post itself)

For sale? dumb cunts same dumb questions
Virgin? listen, all virgins are liars honey
And I dont know what Im scared of or what I even enjoy
Dulling, get money, but nothing turns out like you want it to

And in these plagued streets, of pity you can buy anything
For $200 anyone can conceive a God on video
Hes a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock
Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him rita if you want

I eat and I dress and I wash and I still can say thank you
Puking - shaking - sinking I still stand for old ladies
Cant shout, cant scream, hurt myself to get pain out
I.T. them, 24:7, all year long
Purgatorys circle, drowning here, someone will always say yes

Funny place for the social, for the insects to start caring
Just an ambulance at the bottom of a cliff

In these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything
For $200 anyone can conceive a God on video
Hes a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock
Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him rita if you want, if you want

I eat and I dress and I wash and I can still say thank you
Puking - shaking - sinking I still stand for old ladies
Cant shout, cant scream, hurt myself to get pain out

Power produces desire, the weak have none
Theres no lust in this coma even for a fifty
Solitude, solitude, the 11th commandment

The only certain thing that is left about me
Theres no part of my body that has not been used
Pity or pain, to show displeasures shame
Everyone I've loved or hated always seems to leave

And in these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything
For $200 anyone can conceive a God on video
Hes a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock
Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him rita if you want, if you want

Power produces desire, the weak have none
Theres no lust in this coma even for a fifty
Solitude, solitude, the 11th commandment

Dont hurt, just obey, lie down, do as they say
May as well be heaven this hell, smells the same
These sunless afternoons I cant find myself.

The above are lyrics from the Manic Street Preachers song Yes, taken from the 1994 album The Holy Bible.

The Holy Bible is a dark album. Well, after reading those lyrics it should be pretty obvious it's a dark album. It deals with a number of themes, such as prostitution, depression, self harm, racism, the sexuality of world leaders, anorexia, suicide, politics and the inherent fucked upness of the world. The songs have titles like Of Walking Abortion, She is Suffering, Archives of Pain, Die in the Summertime and The Intense Humming of Evil.

I was debating which lyrics to post.

Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart is one of my favourite songs on the album. But I fear it may be seen as rather an inflammatory introduction to the band, depending on how head-in-the-sand some Americans may feel (yeah I know, not diplomatic, so sue me). Maybe that one will come tomorrow. 4st 7lbs is a wonderful song, but should come with big flashing labels as an ED trigger. I was also considering Faster or This Is Yesterday, but again, they need to come with a big fat triger warning.

I adore the Manics.

It is pretty fair to say that this band is one of the things that got me through my teenage depression, through those days and months and years when I couldn't function and my head was spinning out of control. I shan't describe the what felt like physical nature of it, suffice to say, I don't welcome it and I don't want to be that way. ever. again.

I say this band got me through my teenage years because by the time I got to 19/20 years old I had moved to university and I began to explore and discover other ways of coping, other support networks. Music became less important, well, less central to my life.

Now, now I'm 29 and in a good relationship and have, gee I don't know, without sounding wanky, I guess I meanI found myself. I know myself, I know my identity, I'm reasonably assertive and confidence, fuck, I'm happy. There were times when I never thought I'd get to this stage. So you know, go me.

I met the singer and bassist a year or so ago. They played my city and I hung around afterwards to meet them (along with the rest of the audience). I asked them to sign my boobs and they both looked away, looked really uncomfortable and muttered something about their wives. How un rock'n'roll.

Why this somewhat intimate post today? Well, the band have a new album out. It's called Journal for Plague Lovers and the lyrics are by the same guy who wrote 70% of The Holy Bible's lyrics. So I've been listening to their old albums some more, and feeling partly joyful and partly downcast. The Holy Bible has always seemed rather triumphant to me, not neccessarily triggering or upsetting.

To be fair, if I got upset listening to it, it was just affirming what I couldn't articulate myself, and seeing as for several years I was in a fug incapable of feeling much there wasn't a lot in me to be triggered.

I shall be buying their new album tomorrow. I have very high hopes for it.

But today, well right now I just felt the need to share.

5 comments:

Feminist Avatar said...

I like the fact they never signed your boobs. It's rejection of the 'rock n roll' in a sense is truly rock n roll.

I never really liked the Manics as a kid, because they were too brit pop for me- I know, I know- I was too busy with Nirvana (I think I was fascinated with the sacri-religious element, coming from a religious home, plus fantastic drums), Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (murder ballads- phenomenal), the tindersticks (who were all about searching and longing), Counting Crows (August and Everything, but not so much their later stuff) and I realise that many of my favourite songs were about women and how for these men these women were broken- and I think those images fascinated me. Even though now as a adult, I can also see why they were problematic, male readings of the female condition.

And now, I am really interested in music by women and how the women who make it can tie feminist messages, or even just subtle critiques of femininity, into music which never strays to far from the mainstream (Ting Tings, the gossip, Florence and the Machine, even Beyonce)- probably because the women whose music makes it can never stray to far (unlike male bands who seem to have more leeway).

[FA is currently listening to Anthony and the Johnstons]

Saranga said...

I too like Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - his murder ballads album is excellent.

*giggles* The Manics, britpop? At one stage I guess so! I found them more glittery, leopardy, angry and fabulous than britpop. Until Everything Must Go came out of course..that was britpop, and then This Is my Truth was just turgid.

I never really listen to lyrics, apart from the Manics' stuff, and a few other bands. Some of the music I liked growing up was male dominated and male created, but I think that was due to the industry as much as anything. Then again, real female britpop bands did capture my heart (Echobelly's Sonya Aurora! A contender for the most adorable singer ever Kenickie! Skunk Anansie!) along with the American stuff - Courtney Love, L7, Save Ferris (I am just in awe of their singer, she's simply dazzling).

The Gossip are awesome too.

Feminist Avatar said...

Skunk Anansie- love.

Saranga said...

Did you know they've reformed and are touring?
http://www.skunkanansie.net/tickets/
They are going to Glasgow if that's anywhere near you. Sadly they aren't visiting my neck of the woods. Grr.

Feminist Avatar said...

And only £20- a bargain.