Friday, March 13, 2015

Pregnancy after stillbirth: 19 weeks 4 days

I’ve been getting headaches, sickness, light headedness and a general feeling of being groggy. This isn’t diabetes or anything bad, it’s that I’m not getting enough sleep and not drinking any water.

If I say I have abdominal pain it sounds really bad, but really my pain is about stretching ligaments and constipation.  Wait till I hit 21 weeks, then I'll ring the midwifery team daily, you just wait and see.

had another heartbeat check yesterday.  It took the midwife ages to find the heartbeat.  It was horrible.  She did find it, and it’s all fine, but I felt drained for the rest of the day.  This will never, ever be easy.

I asked about the induction process with a live baby and I think I’ve forgotten most of what she told me.   I think it’s sinking in that this induction will be very different to my induction with C, and I’m scared, of a lot of things.  Of not knowing what will happen. Of the possibilities of mistakes.  Of the baby getting into problems (why do we use that shitty euphemism? Why don’t we say seriously ill or dying?).

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