Supernatural season 6 - eps 2 to 6

Woah.. new blogger interface... This is bizarre.  Lots of white space.  Have they taken a leaf out of Ravelry's book? I hope not.

Episode 2 - Two and a Half Men

Babies are going missing, the boys rescue one.  The kid turns out to be a shapeshifter, demonstrated when he changes from a white kid to a black kid.  That scene is pretty good.

Grandpa Samuel decides to raise the baby as a hunter.  No no no, stupid idea.  dean isn't impressed.  IIRC Sam doesn't argue much. Because Soulless.

Dean is uncomfortable with Ben and Lisa going out alone - that's the domestic shit I want to see more of.

The shapeshifter after the baby is an alpha shifter, which is what I don't want to see more of.

The episode ends with Lisa telling Dean to go hunt and come back to her and Ben between hunts.

The opening credits show Dean having a happy home life.  It's a brilliant set of scenes.  Domesticity storylines have always been appealing to me, I like seeing superheroes on downtime, doing day to day stuff.  Dean is trying to keep Ben naive and safe - protecting his family at all costs.  he is a bubble of panic - he wants to protect his family but he can't do that and give them a normal life.  I see parallels with covid-19.  Dean is driven by fear and he is so used to Sam being on the same page as him and obeying him, he is thrown when Lisa and Ben don't.

I noticed that Soulless puts his rubbish in the bin.  That was surprising...

On the baby, they seem to have the baby for a long time without it crying with hunger.  I am not impressed.  Then when it does cry in the supermarket Dean picks him up and just mock cries/yells back at him.  I found that scene really uncomfortable.  It's a real baby, someone comfort the poor thing.

Gwen Campbell looks like Sigourney Weaver.

Episode 3 - The Third Man

This is ace.  The skin is peeling off a copper and then he collapses into goo. Nice.

We then move to a scene where Sam has hired a sex worker, and the episode shows her nearly forgetting payment and offering to meet Sam on her day off, because Sam is just that good in bed.  i cannot roll my eyes hard enough.  Sex workers don't do that, if they did they would be out of a job.  

It's impressive how much Soulless wants Dean around.

The monster of the episode is not a monster. Someone has hold of the Staff of Moses and is using it to visit biblical plagues on people - river of blood, plague of boils, plague of locusts.

Castiel helps them find the person responsible - a black kid who's father was killed by cops who first planted a gun in his car then shot him. So, topical.  I'm with the kid on this tbh.

Cas performs a quite frankly horrific ritual on the kid which Dean objects to but Sam is happy with. I am very uncomfortable that they are harming an innocent kid, and that afterwards they leave him in the hotel to be found by cops.  The same cops who framed and murdered his Dad.  There is no way that kid is getting home safely.  Castiel, you are a cock.

It turns out another angel Balthazar, a very attractive angel I'll have you know, gave the staff of Moses to the kid in exchange for his soul. And suddenly I remember where this season is going. Sigh.  Frigging angel war leading up to the bloody stupid Leviathan plot, via Raphael who wants the Apocolypse to happen.  This feels like seriously lazy writing.

Dean confronts Soulless about how he is acting.

Episode 4 - Weekend at Bobby's

Another good episode.  Less infuriating than episode 3.

Bobby summons Crowley who refuses to give Bobby his soul back.  Crowley is stuck in a devils trap because somehow the demons always walk into the correct floor space. Sigh.  Crowley threatens Bobby with his pet hellhound and Bobby lets him go.

This ep really shows how vital Bobby is to the other hunters.  He helps Sam'n'Dean on a case, chews them out for being selfish assholes, helps Rufus destroy a monster, deals with his next door neighbour hitting him, puts a fancy pants cop off his scent, tortures a demon for Crowley's weak spot, summons the spirit of Crowley's son and sends the boys to Scotland to dig up Crowley's bones and finds out Crowley is the king of hell now.  Crowley is a shit king by the way.

I don't like the son of Crowley gubbins.  It's bollocks.

Ooh, super wiki tells me Jensen Ackles directed this ep.  He did good.

Episode 5 - Live Free or Twihard

This episode is important because Sam lets Dean be turned by a vampire.  Dean gets cured, but it's confirmation for Dean that there is something desperately wrong with Sam.  There's too much Grandpa Samuel in this ep for me.

Dean comments on a terrible vampire romance book cover calling it rapey, then takes up the same position in Lisa's bedroom.  In his defence he had gone there to say goodbye, but obvs he fanged up, shoved Ben and made Lisa very angry.

Dean and a wannabe vampire lad have a good back and forth about the value of glitter when hitting on women.

Episode 6 - You can't handle the truth

This is an excellent truth serum episode.  It's Veritas, the goddess of truth in play.  Veritas reveals that Sam is not human and Dean forces an explanation out of Sam, who claims that he knows he's wrong but he doesn't know why.  So Dean lamps him 14 times.  Mature.

This ep is important in the discovery of What Is Wrong With Sam.  Well worth rewatching.

SPN Season 3, eps 12 and 13

Brief post today.  I want to continue reading a 65k fic I'm nearly halfway through.

Ep 12 - Jus in Bello
(un) Cool Fact.  It took me an embarrassingly long time to realise that the Italian JIB con was named after this ep.
Bela sets the brothers up so that FBI Agent Henrikson can arrest them.  They are taken to the police station where we discover demons have possessed some of the coppers.  A demon shoots Dean, kills most of the people in the station and Henrikson and the few others left alive are beseiged, alongside the brothers.  Henrikson et al finally believe in demons and after much discussion covering areas such as it is ok to sacrifice a virgin to save the rest of them, the demons are exorcised via the exorcism ritual being played over the station's PA system.  I like this method of getting rid of them, I find it ingenious.
At the end Lilith demon turns up, in the form of a little girl,and blows up the station, killing Henrikson.  I am not amused by this, I like Henrikson and wanted him kept around.

There's a nice I Shot The Sheriff line, delivered excellently by Dean.

Ep 13 - Ghostfacers
I think I skipped this one.  As memory serves, Sam and Dean are great in it, but the Ghostfacers team are unbearably annoying.  If anyone wants to know what happens go read the Super wiki summary here.

SPN Season 3, eps 7 - 11

Ep 7 - Fresh Blood
This is a Gordon and vampire-centric episode.  Gordon is threatening Bela to tell him where the boys are.  Bela tells him, but on her own terms.  Because she is fabulous.  Then we cut to Sam n Dean on a hunt.  Dean cuts his arm to attract a vampire to him, and I find it a bit offputting, because self-harm scenes like these trigger me, and then the vampire turns out to be Buffy's Harmony.  She doesn't know she's a vampire.  Dean kills her anyway.  It's a really sad scene, and it's played as uncomfortable for both brothers.

Gordon and the brothers cross paths.  There is a fight (obvs).  Gordon gets caught by the vampire (Nixon) who is turning unsuspecting women.  Gordon remains brutal, even as a vampire.  He rips the two vampire women's heads off, with his bare hands.  Then he goes to visit his hunting partner, the mad religious one with the creepy iconography, and puts his hand through the dude's chest.

Nice parallels with Nixon being alone and desperate to get his family back, and how Dean felt when Sam died, and how Sam will feel when Dean dies.  I really like how the show continually drives this point home, torturing the boys and driving up Dean's guilt level, again and again.  Of course, he quashes it and buries it because is that how he copes.

Oh my, Sam's plea to Dean to stop the front and be his brother again... my heart.  And then... Dean is using his machete to shave hairs off his arm... *fans self*.

Dean get bitten by Gordon, so Sam decapitates Gordon with wire, but doesn't seem to worry about getting Gordon's blood in him.  Poor directing and detail there.

Gods, Dean looks so young in this ep.

Final scene - Dean gets Sam t ix the car...because he needs to know for the future, the future without Dean, in case you hadn't grasped that.  *bawling*.

Ep 8 - A Very Supernatural Christmas
I think this episode is highly thought of because of the insight we get to the wee Winchesters.  It doesn't really work for me.  The Weechesters are cute, and their upbringing is shitty, but I am just not  a Christmas person and don't really do schmaltz.  And it is a bit schmaltzy.  In a Supernatural screwed-up-childhood way.  I quite like seeing Sam give Dean the Samulet, but that's for the continuity-completist in me, not for the drama of the scene.

I am not keen on the monsters either.  I get that it's meant to subvert Christmas, but I just doesn't work for me.  Perhaps I'm being far too precious about them being pagan gods, but it feels like the show doesn't take these guys as seriously as they do more folklore-ish monsters.

Ep 9 - Malleus Malificarum
I had to read the episode summary of this to remember the plot.  I am hopeless at remembering episode names.  Once read I remember I liked it, mostly for the gory details.  Witches are casting curses - a woman's teeth fall out, bloodily, a man's hamburgers turns to maggots.  It turns out the witches are led by a demon.
There's quite a lot going on here, as the demon has links to Ruby, who also appears, and we learn from Ruby that demons used to be humans.  It's important stuff in terms of developing Season 3's storyline, but it does feel like a bit much in one episode.  Still worth watching though.  There are good Dean moments as he learns more about what waits for him in Hell.

Ep 10 - Dream a Little Dream of Me
I just read the episode summary of this on Super-Wiki and it 's only vaguely familiar.  Clearly this one did not make an impact on me.  I'll summarise briefly in the hope that I recall this later on -
Bobby is in a coma as he's been fatally poisoned.  The boys take dreamroot to go into his subconscious brain and wake him up.  Dean faces his own inner self doubts and loathing, Sam faces the guy who poisoned Bobby.  They get out. The end.
Red Dwarf did facing your insecurities better.

Ep 11 - Mystery Spot
I'm not sure I can say anything about this episode that hasn't been said before.
The boys go to investigate a case in Broward County, a so called Mystery Spot where weird things are purported to happen.  After a Tuesday of investigating, Dean gets killed, Sam reacts how you would expect, and then the day flips back to the start of the Tuesday.  Dean gets killed again,the day flips back again.  Over and over and over.  Sam withdraws into an angry, murderous, focused state as he has to see Dean dying day after day.  As he is the only one with memories of previous days he has to explain it to Dean every day.

He eventually works out that it's the Trickster doing this, who when caught says he's trying to prove that Sam can't save Dean (yeah right, because that will stop him trying...) and the Trickster flicks them to the Wednesday.  Then it gets dark, as Dean is shot in the car park by an ordinary human civilian.

Sam goes off the rails, hunting down the Trickster for I think 6 months.  He is willing to kill another human, any human to get his brother back.  It's at this point you might first realise that Sam is a little bit mad, and has always been a little bit mad.  But hey, that's hunter life for you.  Eventually he finds the Trickster who flicks them back to Wednesday and Sam stops Dean going to the car park alone, thereby avoiding getting shot.

Supernatural Season 3 - Ep 6 (Red Sky at Morning)

Superwiki has a list of physical fights the brothers have had with each other:
http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/Fights
I bloody love fandom.

Ep 6 - Red Sky at Morning
People are drowning in strange locations, like the shower.  Our boys investigate and discover that the victims see a ghost ship before they die.  It's a pretty damn cool ghost ship. All the victims have caused the death of a family member.
Bela Talbot is also investigating- so that she can find the thing causing the haunting and sell it for profit - and they end up working together.  There is a sudden and inevitable betrayal at the end.  Of course there is.  And Bela also sees the boat and has to get the boys to help save her.  They get rid of the ghost in the nick of time and Bela gives them £10k each for their part in her job.

Notable points:
- Good visual effects, especially on the eyes when one victim is dying.  The eyes bulged and went red.
- The second victim, Peter, dies in front of the brothers and yet neither try CPR on him.
- Bela, and later on Crowley, are good British characters.  They have actual personalities, unlike the British Men of Letters we see in a dreadful later season.
- Dean looks incredibly sharp in a suit.  He is completely blindsided by Bela's confidence and forwardness and it's quite gratifiying to see.  He seems to give care and respect to his partners, whereas Bela knows she's sometimes just wants sex and it doesn't have to be nice.  Dean should have taken her up on the suggestion of angry sex.
- Sam gets harassed by Gert, the first victim's Aunt.  It's played for laughs, it is kind of funny, but I am a mite uncomfortable with the joke being that older women want sex.  If Sam had been a little more into it, or was reciprocating the charm, the humour would have been better.
- Sam mentions Castiel's name in a spell, but there is no hint that it is significant.
- The ghost is an old pirate that was hanged by his brother, the Captain of a ship.  Cain and Abel are mentioned.  I think this is the first mention of any parallel brothers-in-conflict storyline.  In later seasons we get the Michael/Lucifer and Dean/Sam fights, and obviously we get Cain himself.

SPN season 10 - episode 3

Oh yeah these recaps are going out of order.  I might end up combining them into one for neatness' sake at a later date.  Or adding to these posts.  Hmm.  What to do.  Maybe put a new post up saying that an older one has been added to.  That could work.

Season 10 episode 3 - Soul Survivor.
I have had a hankering for watching Mark of Cain and Demon Dean for a while now.  Demon Dean is intensely attractive.  I've seen discussions about whether Demon Dean is actually Dean or not.  Here's my take - yes he is.

Regular demons in human meatsuits (and ain't that just a great term) are condemned souls that have been tortured or so many years they have become utterly insane and hurt and twisted.  They become demonic.  They don't recall being human, despite Ruby's assertion otherwise.  These Demons are made of smoke and then come earthside and possess a new body.  The key point here being that it is not the demon's original human body.  Which makes me want to read a time travelling fic where a demon goes back in time and possesses their original human body, and their human consciousness knows what's going on.  That would be delicious.

Back to Demon Dean...well human Dean got the Mark of Cain, he was killed, but was only dead briefly.  The Mark affected him and twisted him, twisted his soul, so that he became demonic.  His demonic self didn't let his body die (as any demon doesn't let their meatsuit die).  Demon Dean's demonic soul stayed in his human body.  So, Dean body + Demon Dean soul is actually Dean.

Of course, now I'm thinking of the continuity where if demons who are possessing bodies keep the bodies alive while they are in it, but then the body dies when the demon exits, how is Dean's body OK once he's been returned to human.  There might be a canon explanation but I doubt it.

To the ep.
Dean has been a demon since the end of Season 9.  Sam intends to cure him, with sanctified human blood I think.  He's dressed as a Dr and has a priest saying the necessary words over a bag of human blood.  I would quite like to know the back story to this.
Back to the bunker.  Dean is tied up.  And still immensely attractive.  Then he gets splashed with holy water and then we have wet Dean.  We get hardly any topless Dean shots throughout the full 15 seasons, but we do get scenes like this.

Next up, 2 flashbacks.  The first is Sam doing yet more unethical things in order to fix Dean.  In this case it's using an innocent (relatively) human as bait for a crossroads demon.  Oh Sam, its this intensity of relationship that we love, but dude, that is a really shitty thing to do.

The other flashback is Demon Dean hanging out with Crowley, and I adore it. Carefree, selfish, no hang ups Dean.

Sam eventually cures Dean, after Dean has got loose and aimed a hammer at Sam's head. Sam looks genuinely terrified at this attack.  Whether it's because he know how dangerous Dean is, or because he's worried he won't be able to cure him, is up to the viewer's individual reading of the scene.  I think it's both.  Sam doesn't often look scared.

When Dean is cured Sam looks so intensely and genuinely happy.  Dean is slowly being crushed by guilt, again.  And makes a divorce joke.  And people say there's nothing unusual about their relationship.

And then there's the other (crap) sub plots that we get after Season 5...  Hannah and Castiel and some angel bullshit that I really do not care about.  At this point in the show the angels were tedious as fuck.  Hannah would have been more interesting had she been brought in earlier.  I would like to see her and Anna working together.  I have a note that I liked one of her outfits.  I think I remember which one.

The other crap in this season is the hell sub plot... Crowley is presiding over trials in hell.... whyyyy... just whyyyy.... The King of Hell should be smiting the condemned souls left right and centre.  Don't give them a trial, kill them.  Kill the (relatively) innocent too.  Strike fear into all their souls, sow chaos.  This is absolutely not the terrifying hell that Dean went too, and it's as ridiculous as the angels becoming shitty bureaucrats.

Final notes:
- The brothers have a fair few photos of themselves over the years.  I would like to know how took those photos as let's be honest they don't have many friends.
- Crowley has a bottle with a skull emblem on.  That tickled me.
- Hannah is not healing from her injuries, I don't know why.  I care only mildly.
- The lighting in the bunker is deliciously dark, just like in the first two seasons.
- Dean is intensely crushable when he is dangerous.

SPN recap - Season 6 episode 1

I have decided not to write up Se3 - 5 before viewing 6. Because it will take me forever.  I will watch what I like and blog it when I like. Hah. take that my compulsive needs to order things brain.

Episode 1- Exile on Main Street.  This is kind of a live blog thing...

After Sam jumped into the pit to keep Lucifer away from humanity at the end of Season 5, Dean is living with Lisa and her son Ben, having a normal life.
He finds signs of werewolves and demons and then Sam is back.  He doesn't know why.  Dean is distraught because Sammy has been back for a year... Now I know where this storyline is going this is a really hard watch.  Poor Dean.
Aaaannd now the bloody Campbells are here.  This is the first season where I genuinely didn't like 50% of the plot.

Aaarrgghhhhh Bobby knew Sam was alive, what the everloving fuck.  Right now I really dislike Bobby.

When I first watched this I wanted Dean to stay with Lisa and Ben, whilst still hunting. I wanted the domestic life alongside the hunting, I wanted to see it pan out, to see them manage their problems and to work things out. I know now that the pull of the brothers means the show was never going to go down that route, but I still find it a shame.

Oh man I really dislike the Campbells.  And the alphas storyline. I'm here for Soulless Sam and Dean and their relationship.

Oh christ Sam has stupid sideburns.  Again.  There is no warmth from him to Dean.  It's heartbreaking.

I am really not down for watching a season of the Campbells.  I am going to carefully skip some episodes and potentially scenes because the Campbells are dull dull dull.


Ps: - I have curated a vanity playlist of the music I think Sam would have listened to in college.  It's on spotify, here.

Supernatural Season 3. episodes 3- 5

Getting back into this....I will include my episode notes, which might account for the poor structure of this post.  Spoilers ahoy.
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Ep 3 - Bad Day at Black Rock
My notes say that I do not care for Katie Cassidy who was the first actress to play Ruby.  I've changed my mind since then.  I think I prefer her to Genevieve Cortese actually.  That might earn me dagger looks from some parts of fandom.  I was left unconvinced by Cortese's acting.

INTERESTING TIDBIT.  Shoshannah Stern who played Eileen in later seasons auditioned for the role of Ruby.  I am intrigued by this possibility (potentiality?).  I would like to read fanfic where Stern is cast as Ruby instead.

Ruby turned up The Magnificent 7 (ep 1).  I have no idea why my notes for her are around this episode's notes.  Clearly I'm a poor note taker.  I have also written down that I do not like John.  Fuck knows what I was writing.

This episode - the boys come across a lucky rabbit foot.  Lucky to start with, then you lose it, and your luck turns bad.  This is probably seen as a classic episode.  I don't know fandom well enough to say for sure.*  I like it a lot.  The boys are acted well, the humour is funny, there is a horrible gory bit at the start, and Bela Talbot is introduced.  I love Bela.  She's attractive and snotty and confident and clever.  I feel that As A Feminist (TM) I shouldn't list her attractiveness as the first trait I like, but it's the truth.  I'm shallow.

Ep 4 - Sin City
Far better than the dreadful movie of the same name.

There's a once failing town somewhere in America with demonic omens.  It turns out that there are two demons there and they have been laying the framework for people to condemn themselves through sex, drinking, gambling, suicide etc.  Note to self: The demons are the lady bartender and the priest, no one else.

Question for the masses - Why do demons leave demonic omens wherever they go?  Is it something innate in them? Can they help it?  Do they like the uncertainty and discord the omens sow?  Or is it deliberate?  Demon omen fic needed ASAP please.

Other thoughts - Bobby is fixing the colt, Ruby offers to help.  I like Bobby's dedication to his work.  The concentration and perseverance he displays.  All hunters have it, but I really noticed it in Bobby in this ep.
- Dean has started looking tired in this episode.
- Richie is a very stupid hunter.
- Dean doesn't know the exorcism ritual by heart.  I don't really buy that.
- The theology of SPN really comes into it's own in Se3.  It fascinated me on the first watch.
- Azazel's name is revealed.
- Dean wonders if Sam came back from his Se2 death wrong.  For my money, no.  He's always been angry.  he's always been dangerous.  He's just not as upfront about it as Dean is.  I don't know whether that's Sam intentionally hiding it, or ifit's second nature to him by now. Perhaps he's just used to pretending to be normal an by the end of Se 2 he flipped his lid at the demon gate being opened and him being killed.

Ep 5 - Bedtime Stories.
An enraged soul who named Callie is in a coma.  In an attempt to get justice for the accident that put her in the coma she makes local citizens act out fairytales - The 3 little pigs, Cinderella, Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood.
- Dean claims he doesn't know any fairy tales.  I think this is macho bullshit on his part.  There's no way he didn't read any to Sam when young, or come across them on the telly.  He's not illiterate.
- Sam and Dean's argument about Dean's deal is very child/parent-ish in tone.  Dean hasn't accepted that Sam is an equal adult at this point.  He doesn't until late season 5 when he agrees to Sam taking Lucifer in.
- This season is already sunnier and more fun in tone than Season 2.
- Adult Callie is absolutely caked in makeup and someone has drawn her brows on.  That is a ridiculous thing for costuming and makeup to do.
- At the end of the ep Sam leaves and tries to make his own deal to protect Dean, but the demons won't play.
- Bobby has fixed the colt.


*It feels bizarre to not know this fandom, as in the fans in the community, very well.  I continually compare it to my time in comics fandom, and I feel very much like an outsider.  The politics of the fandom, the adoration of the actors is lost on me.  In comics folk idolise the creators, obvs because the stories and characters are 4 colour wonders, rather than real people.  Idolising actors bemuses me.  Sure, they are very pretty, but they are fallible, and I suspect have had many nasty moments.

Supernatural Season 3 - episode recap (the first)

Found this in my drafts. I reckon I started it late May, but never managed to finish it, or to recount the remaining season 3, 4 and 5 episodes I have since watched.   3 seasons in under 2 months isn't bad going.  If you keep track of that sort of thing.

I wasn't in a great state for most of June so I was watching SPN but without any ability to write about it.  Watching it gave me something to focus on and distract me from the awful shitstorm that is end of May and the whole of June.

By the time I had got into season 4 I realised that seasons 3-5 blend together really well, it's more like one loooong season than 3 separate ones.  Of course, seasons 1 and 2 are also part of the story, but they feel more distinct to me.  Season 1 is a show that is finding it's feet, that is developing the characters and working out what it wants to be.  Season 2 is pure gold.  It's very good horror and it's visibly and physically dark.  Seasons 3 - 5 have a different feel.  While the events of 1 and 2 are obviously key to the next 3, they just feel different to me.  So perhaps recapping them all in one go (but several blog posts, don't worry), before I go into season 6 will be helpful.  For me, at least.

I'm still bloody bowled over by how much I love such an aggressively masculine show.  Usually shows which are so male don't resonate with me, I am very aware that they are not for me, but Supernatural, it grabs me and pulls me in and sinks it's teeth into me.  I have discovered that there is a large queer and female fanbase, so it would seem that I am not the only atypical audience.  A lot of the fanbase seem to be older women too, which delights me.  I'm not sure I'd feel so comfortable chatting to other fans if they were mostly teenagers.

Anyway.  What follows is a post I wrote back in late May. Enjoy. Or not.

This may be a flawed recap as it seems I didn't take many notes whilst watching it.
A) Who the fuck takes notes while watching a show.  I realise I am odd.
B) I remember when I didn't have to take notes because I would not only remember the episode details, but I would also have the energy and brain function to be able to write things up straight after I watched the thing.

I do know that after the brilliance of season 2, this season was less interesting.  The lighting and colours in the show changed too, it became a lot brighter, which saddened me a little.  There's plenty of good stuff in the season though.  Dean coming to terms with his deal, Sam struggling with finding out about it and his determination to save Dean, Dean's refusal to let Sam do anything.  All of that, it's good to watch and absorb.

There are only 16 episodes in this season, I believe the writers strike cut it short.  I think this worked out well as it meant the planned storylines were lengthened into the next season, which I think probably benefited them.

Ep 1 - The Magnificent 7.  The boys fight the 7 deadly sins (demons).  Dean is reckless due to his deal, but also depressed.  I read him as having passive suicidal feelings.  The brothers meet 2 other hunters who call them out for opening the gates of hell.  That's quite a satisfying moment, because they really did fuck that one up.  I think this is the first episode where there is a mention of the Boy King.

Ep 2 - the Kids are Alright
At this point I got the impression that Dean will spend this season fucking.  I wasn't wrong.  This episode he tries to hook up with an old shag - Lisa, who now has a son, Ben.  My headcanon says that Ben is Dean's son, the show doesn't confirm this.  We get to see what a normal family life would be Dean, and it's kind of heartbreaking.
The monster in this ep is a Changeling, stealing children and replacing them with scary fascimiles.  It's quite a chilling episode.

Supernatural season 2 eps 18 - 22

Season 2 recap continues..  spoilers ahead.

Ep 18 - Hollywood Babylon
The boys investigate a haunted movie set, but it turns out to not be haunted.  Other things are afoot.  They manage to get jobs on the set, Dean makes a particularly good PA.  He also eats everything he can, I do enjoy Dean eating, and he gets laid, by the star actress no less.  We learn about Dean's love and knowledge of crappy horror films.  This is very much a Dean-centric episode and I heartily approve.  Particularly as I feel that season 2 is overall more Sam-centric.  It is about his psychic powers after all, and it's a good storyline, but I do like Dean stories.

Through looking at other recaps just now I see that Something Wicked in season 1 is also Dean centric.  Normally I would watch it, but it deals with ill children so I am so not up to watching it at the moment.

Ep 19 - Folsom Prison Blues
This is a bonkers premise.  There's a haunting in a prison so the boys get themselves arrested (easy enough to do with the files the police have on them), and they get sent to the haunted prison.  Convenient.  Dean fits in particularly well, he's all swagger and bravado and instantly gets on with some of the prisoners.  Others he gets into a fight with.  Of course he does, he's Dean.

Dean charms their lawyer and convinces her to get him information about the ghost's body, and the boys escape.

This is a wonderfully fun, charismatic episode.  Dean is having far too much fun and Sam thinks the whole idea is bonkers.

Ep 20 - What is and what should never be
Ooof. if you are a fan of Dean this might well break your heart.

Dean get attacked by a Djinn and is thrust into what he thinks is a new reality.  In this new reality his mum is alive, the family aren't hunters, and Sam and him don't get on.  Given that this is meant to be his greatest wish fulfilled, I find this ep a bit unbelievable, as I don't think he would ever dream of a reality where Sam and him weren't joined at the hip.

Their Dad is dead, of a stroke, small mercies and all that, but then Dean realises that all the people they have saved in the other world are dead in this one.  He decides that he needs to sacrifice his happiness and go back to his old world.  And that is why I love this show and I love Dean.  he's a hero through and through, he (nearly) always does the right thing and he's committed to improving the world.  He decides to give up his own personal happiness in order to do what is right.  That is amazing and something to aspire to.

Dean decides to go find the Djinn and kill it, thereby reversing the spell, and Sam comes along with him (because they are destined to be together), Sam finds out about the supernatural and then Dean realises this isn't a new reality, it's an illusion.  And he end sup back in the real world and he's quite broken.

Ep 21 - All hell breaks loose part 1
The start of the epic season 2 conclusion!

Sam get kidnapped to a weird deserted town. The other psychic kids are there.  They learn about Azazel's deathmatch plan.  Sam is stabbed by the remaining psychic kid and dies in Dean's arms.

My heart is broken, again.

This is an excellent death scene, watching Dean react to his brother's death tears me apart.

Ep 22 - All hell breaks loose part 2
And then I get torn apart even more.
Dean's words to Bobby and his monologing over Sam's body illustrates to me how much of a parental role Dean has to Sam.  He has seen his charge die, his role in life has been to keep Sam safe, at all costs, and now he's failed him.  Dean expected Sam to outlive him, but now Sam has died and it just reminds me so much of a parent's grief when their child dies.  Dean will do absolutely anything to get Sam back.  So he does.  He makes a deal with a crossroads demon - to get Sam back Deans gives up his soul in 12 months time.  Seems like a pretty good deal to me.

The thing I don't like about this episode is John's ridiculous return. It's not needed and it cheapens what has gone on earlier in the season.  The brothers have worked through their feelings about John's death and we've had a huge focus on the brother's relationship.  John does not belong there.

So, that's a shitty note to end the season on.  If we forget about that part then season 2 remains glorious and worth many many watches.  I've started rewatching season 3 already.

Supernatural Season 2 - eps 4, 6 - 17 and a pandemic related rant

Season 2 is absolutely fucking gold.  Pretty much all the episodes are great, and it's filled with memorable gems that I was sure were in later seasons.

This season really looked at how depressed Dean is.  He does the job, hes good at it, but he feels empty.  He doesn't have much hope.  He loves Sam, and he gets enjoyment out of things in life, but he is mostly just sad.

I've already talked about eps 1-3 and 5, now I'll recount the rest.

Ep 4 - Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things.  So I didn't watch all of this again. It just didn't grab me.  I remember Dean being very angry, and rightfully so.  His dad has just died, he's grieving.

Ep 6 - No Exit. Jo from the Roadhouse joins the boys on a hunt.  She's clever that one.  She's capable and ambitious but not quite got enough experience.  It's another creepy episode, with an excellent ending to the ghost.

Ep 7 - The Usual Suspects.  Sam and Dean get arrested for murder, we get another excellent female supporting characters as Diana, a lady cop, played by Linda Blair.  Diana learns about the supernatural, we find out who wronged the ghost and the boys get away to hunt another day.  We also get a great pea soup gag at the end.  Sounds simplistic but the execution is marvellous. The interviews with the boys, both focusing on the hunt and seemingly not bothered by the arrest, and the way the story of the ghost pans out is marvellous.

This episode means that from now on the boys are on the run from the law, which makes for a slight change in attitude from them, and is followed through in future episodes.  Back when the season arcs made sense and we had continuity.

Ep 8 - Crossroad Blues.  We meet a crossroads demon and learn about hell hounds.  The opening to this is just wonderful, the blues scene is full of soul (pardon the obvious language, I'm tired and lockdown has turned my brain to jam), and the arrival of the hellhound is masterful.

Ep 9 - Croatoan.  Dean tells San what their dad told him before he died, but honestly I'm ambivalent about that.  I know it provides angst, but I do not give two shits about John.  The Croatoan demon virus is what is really interesting and what grabs me.  I feel like The Darkness' plague in season 13/14(?) repeated the Croatoan madness.  Lazy writing in later seasons.

Ep 10 - Hunted. I don't think I paid too much attention to this one either, not after looking at a  synopsis.  Gordon turned up and tried to kill Sam.  That was never gonna work, or take, let's be honest.  I have no interest in Gordon.

Ep 11 - Playthings.  I found this difficult to watch because of the daughter's near death.  Powerful episode though.  The case is found in a hotel.  A mother, daughter and grandma live there and the hotel is getting sold.  The Grandma had a sister who died as a young child, 9ish.  The Grandma has been keeping her ghost at bay with hoodoo all her life, but now she's had a stroke so her ghost now befriend the daughter and kills people.

Ep 12 - Nightshifter.  Super wiki tells me this is mostly about a bank robbery and apparent suicides.  I have no idea. Brain jam you see.

After running out of steam the other day, I am coming back to this post and will try to finish it tonight. But first, a rant.

I have been so eager to do a re-watch and write a recap of the episodes, I've been daydreaming about how to do it, thinking about the episodes that had the most impact on me, trying to spot the foreshadowing and Easter eggs and all the innocuous but important bits that you notice when you adore something.

Yet now I am in the situation where I want to continue writing, and I want to wrap up each season before starting the next, but it feels like another pressured thing to do, on top of all the other endless things to do that are stacking up and up and up an becoming unbearable, because we're in fucking lockdown, stuck at home, with a shit incompetent government who would rather make money than protect people, doing our best to avoid catching a virus that could well fucking kill me, stuck far away from family who I cannot visit because they are vulnerable, with next to no space to myself, no time to think and relax because there is always someone else around.  I am hardly ever alone and it's ruining me.

There's homeschooling (or whatever it is that we're calling it), checking the school website for lesson plans and educational ideas, trying to catch up with people on video chat, meal plans, sorting out food deliveries, working out when to do a supermarket shop, paying attention to my asthma and mood meds, going for daily exercise, cleaning the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, doing the laundry, trying to read, trying to junk model, trying to think of exciting things to make with what we've got, negotiating the post office, trying to manage my trichotillomania (and failing), thinking of how we will keep the lad at home when schools allegedly re-open, worrying about the lad's social interaction with other, being convinced that family or myself will die of this disease, worrying about my family's actual real non-covid related hospital admissions, getting up, going to bed, wondering when I can have another eyesight test, remembering to take my iron tablets, trying to work out balanced meals for everyone, trying not to drink too often.  Remembering to adjust my chair when I sit down to work, trying to do my work from home, trying to manage my family's expectations and prevent them from falling into a pit of despair.  Trying to do my hobbies.

There is probably far far more also on my plate, which leads to me rage typing this.

I'm not the only one, most people feel like this.  We've had 67 days of lockdown and it's awful.  Sometimes it's good.  But mostly it's awful.  I miss normal contact with people, I miss being able to go places.  I hate homeschooling.

Fuck this shit, fuck this pandemic and fuck this virus.  Fuck the Tory government and their lies and half truths and misinformation and piss poor strategy.

Now this is off my chest, let's go back to writing up the episodes.

Ep 13 - Houses of the Holy.  This might be my favourite ep of the season.  It's where the boys discover angels, or it seems like they do.  This feels like the start of theology in the show.  Sam believes in God, Dean doesn't and he is shaken by Sam's belief.  I feel like given all the shit (dead mother, shitty father, many horrible demons and supernatural stuff hurting people) that Dean has witnessed he can't believe in the christian God because what God could allow it.  Whereas Sam, well Sam never knew his mother, he doesn't feel the loss like Dean does, and he never witnessed the change in John's parenting.  Dean was young, sure, but he remembers bits of Mary.  He parented Sam and protected him, kept him safe, but he didn't have anyone to do that for him.  I'm not surprised he doesn't have any faith and that he can't accept the existence of angels.  At this point in the show they believe that angels represent goodness.  They'll learn.

Then at the end Dean is forced to reconsider his stance, and it's so touching, so emotional, and seeing him start to feel differently, to consider the possibility of the divine, is just a stellar piece of telly.

Ep 14 - Born Under a Bad Sign.  This is also an exceptionally good episode.  Sam gets possessed by Meg, the demon from season 1.  MegSam kills people.  Dean finds out and his first instinct is to cover up the murder and protect Sam.  My heart, it bursts.  I'm a sucker for deep, abiding, I will move the earth for you love, and the Winchesters have it in spades.  There's a reason the show is also known as The Epic Love Story Of Sam And Dean.

Ep 15 - Tall Tales.  The Trickster arrives.  I adore this guy.  I was so pleased he came back in later seasons.  I'm not that fussed about the plot for this ep, but it's got some great character moments.  The scenes where the boys are recounting their evening in the bar to Bobby, and we see their versions of events, is just top quality.

Ep 16 - Roadkill.  There are 2 ghosts haunting a stretch of road and the boys lay them to rest.  The plot twist is that we think one of them is a living human until the end of the episode, and so does the ghost.  I know this is a trope that has been done before, but it feels fresh and compelling in this episode.  I have a note that says that the way Sam explains why ghosts exist echoes how Dean saw him explain stuff to the guy in Tall Tales.  I think this is referring to Dean's version of events in tall tales where Sam gives an uninterested witness a hug and is very emotional slash supportive slash puppy eyed at them.  So I guess it shows where Dean's version of events comes from.

I feel that these episodes are good examples of how Dean is very practical, very much in the here and now, wanting to solve the immediate problem then emotionally ditch it.  Whereas Sam is more of a thinker.  I believe that Sam and Dean are just as emotional as each other, they just express or hide the emotions in different ways.  Dean certainly isn't stupid either, he's framed as the least educated one, because he didn't go to University and he isn't widely read, but he's a good hunter and can put two and two together perfectly well enough.  I think he's more reckless than Sam, and I think he's more willing to take risks (so long as they don't risk Sam), and he's more willing to get killed in the line of duty.  Sam nearly got out. He tasted a normal life.  Dean has never felt he's had that option.

Ep 17 - Heart.  Dean goes to a strip club, Sam gets laid and the boys argue over what makes a monster worth killing.  All in the context of a werewolf hunt.  There's a discussion about an abusive ex and I think the scene did a reasonable job at showing how women get away from domestic violence and recovery.
The scenes were Sam has Madison tied up and is trying to get her to admit to being a werewolf are really compelling.  Especially when viewed in parallel with the earlier discussion of DV.  Sam switches to terrifying and Madison is genuinely terrified.
Dean offers to shoot Madison for Sam, and then cries on behalf of Sam when he does it.  I feel like this is quite a Wincesty moment.  Even though by the end Season 2 finale Dean is in more of a parental place with Sam.  These Winchesters are complex.

Supernatural's one-off women

The thing that really struck me on my first watch of Supernatural, was the female supporting characters.  I'm used to shows that treat their one-off supporting characters as disposable cliches at worst, as one dimensional at best.

This show though, it's really male.  It's a story about brothers, masculinity and family.  There's seemingly not a lot of space in it for women, yet within Season 1's supporting cast it's generally the men that get sacrificed for the plot and the women who survive.

If you've read my earlier posts you'll have deduced that season 1 follows a monster of the week format.
In Wendigo a woman is searching for her brother, lost in the woods.  Dead in the Water features mysterious drownings, we are led through the town by the Sheriff's daughter.  In Bloody Mary we meet a woman who is being stalked by Bloody Mary.  Hook Man gives us a preacher's daughter with sexual hangups.  Asylum has a male/female couple in a haunted hospital.  Scarecrow gives us a young woman in a town full of Vanir worshippers.  I can't be arsed to list the rest but you get the gist.

The thing these women have in common is that they all learn about the monsters under the bed, and while it scares them, obviously it scares them, they cope with it.  They accept it, they don't freak out, they figure out how they can help the brothers and carry on with life.  I expected them to be flat, and screamy, and not much use to be quite honest.  Instead, on the whole they are courageous and resilient.

This treatment changed in season 2, (bearing in mind on my rewatch I'm only on episode 8) where the supporting characters were usually male.  That makes me sad.  On the other hand we get to meet Ellen and Jo who are AH-mazing.  The Usual Suspects gives us a female cop who is just as capable as the season 1 supporting women.

I really want to read a fic where all these supporting women are in a bar, a few years after they first met the brothers.  They are mostly living a normal life, maybe they've killed a few things themselves, and they are chatting and catching up with the other women about the brothers and the cases where they met.  Some will get outrageously drunk, some will be snarky.  They'd gossip about the brothers and compare notes.  It would be such fun and we would get some brilliant outsider point of view stories.

I want this.

Supernatural: Se2 Ep 5 - Simon Said

Spoilers ahead, plus discussion of non-consensual sexual relationships and invading people's privacy with telepathy.
I am discussing the episode not from an in-story viewpoint, but from a real world viewpoint, looking at the mechanism of how things were filmed and the culture of the show and TV industry at the time.
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In this episode the brothers meet another psychic kid, Andy.  Andy is portrayed as a good guy. He's totally average, has friends, doesn't stand out at all.  In a high school show he would be the nerd loser type, with a couple of close friends, who never gets the girl but is fundamentally a decent person.  A bit like Buffy's Xander, but less good looking.  Compared to the Brothers Winchester he's short and scrawny, he has none of their charisma and glamour.  He's got a van with a painting of a Barbarian Queen riding a polar bear on the side.  He's that sort of dude.

We find out he has telepathic powers - he can make people do things.  For example, give him their coffee, let him into the police records department, borrow their car (Dean's car, for reference), and tell him whatever is on their mind.  Sam is the only one immune to his powers.  We see that Andy reads philosophy, he talks about the ethics of telepathy (a bit), he says he has never used to harm anyone and that he has certainly never used it on his possibly-girlfriend, Tracey. 

Andy has an evil twin, Webber, who is using his power to force people to commit suicide, in order to persuade Andy to become close to him.  Webber is clearly the bad guy, and Andy is positioned as the friendly telepath who harms no one.  He's certainly not positioned as a danger to anyone.

Now here is the start of my point.

So, with all that in mind, I find it interesting that in the first scene where we see Andy, he's leaving an attractive woman's flat in the morning, with the implication that he has had a one night stand with her.  It's not explicitly stated that is what has happened, but given the show's attitude to sexual relationships (hello Dean), and our cultural understanding of a bloke leaving a woman's flat first thing in the morning, wearing a happy grin, I think we can assume that Andy and unnamed woman had a lot of sex.

Andy is presented as a sort of lovable loser.  An everyday guy who becomes the secondary hero in the episode (the Winchesters being the heroes obvs).  All the cues indicate that this sort of guy is not usually successful with women.  So how did he have this one night stand?  I guess we assume that he used his telepathic powers to get this woman into bed.

That's a bad thing.  That's rape.  If telepathy were real, there would be laws about it, stating that using telepathy to get sex is rape.

Now my point.

Given that Andy is portrayed as the good guy it's astounding/interesting to me that this particular opening scene with him was filmed in the way that it was.  The episode goes to such pains to show us that Andy is basically a good guy, using his power in a harmless way.  I wonder if no one picked up on the implications of the one night stand scene, or if someone did but was ignored.  It just screams of everyday sexism and this stuff just not being on the writer's or director's radar.

It was filmed in 2006, I don't feel that there is much excuse for being ignorant of gender politics back then, but I accept that many people were.

I think of how the supporting women in season 1 were portrayed, how they were mostly supporting characters but were given agency, proper roles and were treated with respect, as characters and actresses.  I see that changing in season 2, mostly due the show moving away from a monster of the week episode, but that we get recurring female characters in the form of Ellen and Jo (who in my opinion are truly magnificent).

I wonder what sort of atmosphere it was on set, I wonder how the women involved in the show (n any capacity) felt.  Was it noticed and ignored, did it feel like yet another micro-aggression, did any of the men notice it and feel uncomfortable with it.  How did the set culture compare to other American TV shows being filmed at the time.

I have no answers, I'm just curious.

Note - I feel it needs to be said that the episode, and to some minds the whole show, doesn't examine the abusive nature of telepathy - in that most sensible emotionally literate people can figure out that using mind manipulation powers on other people is a pretty awful thing to do.

Supernatural - heroism

Just a few thoughts that keep rumbling around my mine about the show.
Spoilers ahead.
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It becomes apparent in the later seasons, that the brothers are honest to Gods heroes.  To paraphrase the Slayer's epitaph, they saved the world a lot. In Se1 though, they seem more like ordinary folk, not heroes so much, as two guys just doing a job.

I like that they aren't ever superheroes, they don't get magic powers (nothing long lasting anyway), they don't get power rings, they aren't superhuman, they aren't bathed in space beams, they can't do more than normal people can.

They have been brought up to shoot guns, hunt demons, do research, learn theological sigils and basic magic.  But they are ordinary people in ordinary bodies.  For the record, I don't think Sam's pshychic powers count as a superpower.

When they stumble along the riches in the Bunker they don't suddenly know everything, they still have to research, they've just got a comfortable base to do so from.  To be honest, they deserve a nice home, though the lack of natural sunlight would irk me. I bet it pisses Sam off too.  And Dean, though he might not ever admit it.

The brothers don't expect to live a long life.  They do what they do out of a sense of duty and responsibility, and because it's the right thing to do*.  They are intensely moral (until it comes to saving the other one from death or torture, then, ignoring those few episodes after the Trials, the rest of the world can go swivel).  To hazard a guess, they expect to die in their 30s or 40s. Most hunters get killed by something awful before they get old.

The thing about the brothers though, is that the older they get the harder they are to kill, because older hunters have got to be older hunters because they are very good at not dying*.  Or not staying dead in these two's case.  So in all likelihood they are going to get older and better and will die at a ripe old age of something boring.  Hopefully in each other's arms.

To get back to the original point, these are ordinary folks, like you and me, with specific training to be sure, but really just like you and me.  We could do what they do, if we tried hard enough and gave up enough.  That's an attractive quality in a protagonist.  It's more believable than Batman.


* Spot the Discworld references here.

Supernatural Season 2 recap, eps 1-3

I'm writing these recaps to get my head straight about the show, note down foreshadowing and interesting throwaway scenes or dialogue.  Don't expect many insightful comments.  These posts are totally for my benefit.
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Spoilers ahead.
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So while Season 1 was setting up the show, having the brothers trace their Dad, and finding a way to defeat the yellow eyed demon (later discovered to be named Azazel), Season 2 is about the psychic kids and Azazel's plan for them.  The finale neatly sets up for season 3 too but I won't write about that just yet.

Episode 1 - In My Time of Dying.
I think all the opening episodes of Supernatural are good, but this one is just pure gold.  There is not one wasted second of it, it's a powerful and emotive storyline.

After season 1's finale, John, Dean and Sam are in hospital.  Sam is mobile, John is more damaged, but Dean has had a horrific brain injury and he's dying.  We meet Tessa, the second reaper of the show, and she tries to persuade Dean to go with her.  John is scheming, doesn't tell anyone what he's planning, but then goes to Azazel and trades the colt and his life for Dean's.  John dies.

Notable points about this episode - the cast seem really, really settled in their roles.  It's smooth, seamless and every single bit of it works.
Dean says 'You can't kill Death'.  Spoiler - many years later he does.  And now I'm dreaming of rewatching the 4 horsemen episodes.
Bobby tells Sam he doesn't want to tow the impala, that it's ruined, but Sam won't let him.  This doesn't feel in character for what we know of Bobby later.  Nevermind.
Tessa is possessed by Azazel at some point and we see the reaper's true form.  I'm not sure if this ever happens again.
In a really heartfelt scene John apologises to Dean for being a shit parent.  Irritatingly enough this forces me to reconsider my view of John's parenting.  But then just before he dies he whispers something in Dean's ear, we don't find out what it is until much later in the show, but it brings us back to his shit parenting.

Episode 2 - Everybody loves a clown
This has the brothers first trip to the Roadhouse, giving us Ellen and Jo and providing me with two more on-screen loves.
This episode really drives home how much Dean doesn't talk.  It's been touched on before but this ep, with the aftermath of John's lonely, Hunter's funeral with just his sons in attendance, made a point of it.  We also see how cut off form other Hunters Sam and Dean are.  John really didn't clue them into the network that much, apart from Bobby.
The demon is this episode is a Rakshasha, posing a s a clown to get close to children and kill their parents.
Dean is busy fixing the Impala, and then after Sam tries to Talk to him, Dean smashes it up. that's how he's showing his grief, and it's another powerful scene.  It's one that stayed with me throughout the whole 15 seasons, and as such, was another one I'd pegged as happening much later on.

Episode 3 - Bloodlust
Finally, we have the right sort of music in the opening credits.  I remember this episode relatively well.  It's got Gordon the unbending Hunter, and Amber Benson as a vampire.  Benson's performance is magical.  She's just draws you in, she's wonderful.

Supernatural Season 1 recap

So, Supernatural again.  I remain obsessed.  I have had obsessions throughout my life, when I fall for something I fall long and hard.

As a wee girl it was ponies and horses.  As a teen it was music. Then piercings for a few years (alongside the music), then bonsai trees for a a year-ish.  Then my love affair with comics started and lasted, well, it's still there.  It just got sidetracked by my often mentioned grief.  Grief which is still there.

The comics fan in me is still there too, it's just fired into different avenues. I no longer buy lots of weeklies (as if I even could at the moment, since the fucking pandemic has stopped all distribution of weeklies for the foreseeable future), but I read Tiny Titans and other age appropriate comics to my darling rainbow son, and we play at superheroes and it's absolutely marvellous.

I'm pretty into my crochet and yarn too, but it's not an all living all breathing fannish obsession for me, it's more than that. It's a need to be creative, it's a way to calm my mind, it's a practical thing to do and it's soul soothing.  As well as exciting and giddy and fun.

I guess Supernatural is my new fannish obsession. I've watched a lot of telly since we had our second, and I've enjoyed a lot but only Supernatural has clawed it's way into my very being.  I have a section in my filofax dedicated to notes and thoughts about the show.  It's under the section called projects.  I'm such a fucking nerd.

I started making notes about the show from season 7, and now I'm rewatching my favourite episodes so I can understand them more and delve into the mythos more.  And seperate it from all teh fanfic fanon I've devoured.  Fanfic rambling belongs in another thread.

ANYWAY.

Season 1. I wrote about the Pilot, Wendigo and Dead in the Water already.  What will follow is ramblings about the remaining season 1 episodes, plus Phantom Traveller agai, for some reason.  Spoilers, obvs.

Ep 4 - Phantom Traveller.  I thought this was a much later episode where Dean and Sam died in a plane crash and got resurrected.  It wasn't.  It did show us Dean's fear of flying though (I relate man, I really do).  Although not explicitly stated, it's the first time the boys come across a demon.  Again, I had assumed they knew about demons prior to this, but they really didn't.  I think there just weren't many demons on earth at this point.

Ep 5 - Bloody Mary. Ahh this one is sooo good!  The Bloody Mary Legend is taken, expanded upon, details are created and it just works so, so well.  It's scary, and creative and it's got mirror magic in it.  I have a note that Dean has good eyebrow action in this episode.  Dean has enough of Sammy's guilt.  Sam cannot see that Dean has ever done anything wrong. There is much angst.  This is a really good setup for the brothers' angst and love and adoration of each other.  I'll likely explore that in another blog post, along with Wincest. And fanfic.

Ep 6 is Skin. I watched it, I got a bit bored.  Even with all the Wincest implications.  It reminded me of an X-Files episode.  Shapeshifters are not my cup of tea at this stage in the show.

Ep 7 is Hookman. It's a very strong episode, and feels like the show has settled into it's groove.  the music so far has been pretty awful though.  All modern American college rock stuff. It's not what Dean listens to.  I have been told that this is because I'm watching on Amazon Prime and Amazon don't have the rights to the proper music.  Not sure how that works but hey.  Poor show Amazon, poor show.

What is interesting here is that the lady is hitting on Sam, not Dean.  Dean is set up to be a womaniser, but isn't actually all that successful up to now. We don't see him actually scoring with any women, but he's shown as a letch.  Later seasons show us that he is nearly always successful, and that he treats women with respect, but at this point in the show it could have gone either way.

Ep 8 - Bugs.  A Native American takes no shit from Dean.  There's lots of insects.  Folk think the brothers are a couple.  This is a fun episode.  Not the strongest, but fun.

Ep 9, Home, I skipped. Although I probably shouldn't have as it's big on the brother angst and their relationship.  John turns up at the end, apparently.

Ep 10.  Asylum. I didn't watch this one either.  I have very little thoughts on it.

Ep 11 - Scarecrow.  A pagan themed horror story with the Norse vanir.  This is so up my street it's practically set up home with me.  I found the depiction of the Vanir initially insulting, but as I thought about it more, it felt right.  Yes they are the agrarian Gods, but no one said farmers should be nice.  Farmers deal with a lot of shit, they see the violence in everyday life and they know what the results of a good and bad harvest is.  Bring prideful, selfish, bloodthirsty Gods into that and of course they will demand these bloody sacrifices.

Sam leaves Dean for the first time on screen (Stanford was off screen) and it does read like a couple's break up.  He meets Meg. Who I dislike.  Also notable for Sam going to save Dean before the girl. Wincest innit.

Ep 12 - Faith.  Dean get electrocuted and nearly dies.  Sam takes him to a faith healer to fix him.  We meet a reaper for the first time.  I stopped this 15 mins in as I couldn't be arsed. Bad fan.

Ep 13 - Route 666.  It's a possessed truck!  Possessed by a racist who is killing the people who killed him and covered up his murder in the 60s, the murder that happened because the racist was murdering the black folk.  The racist also set fire to a church which killed a children's choir, so predictably I went a bit squicky at that.  Overall though, a great episode.

My notes say that I started developing a crush on Sam around this episode.  Dammit, I'ma  Dean girl!  I've clearly read too much slash.  Other notes for this state that...
- Cassie is Dean's love interest in this, she's an ex of his, he had a an actual relationship, Gods alive, and she's OK.  The actress could have done with some better material, but she did OK with what she had.
- There is minimal drinking at this point. By season 6 Dean is clearly an alcoholic, but here, they don't drink so much.
- Sam is allowed to drive the car.
- The way they get rid of the truck is pretty inventive.  I approve.
- There's a good slashy moment in the car at the end.  All the looks, IIRC.

Ep 14, Nightmare. This kicks off the psychic kids storyline.  I've always felt like this storyline had something lacking at the start.  It's a bit piecemeal. I can't quite put my finger on it because actually this episode works pretty well. I think I find the way that Sam reacts to Max and delivers the exposition jarring.  It's a bit too much telling us how things are rather than letting the story show us. Maybe?  Hats off to whoever decided to put the boys in priest garb, because they look very attractive in it.

Ep 15 - The Benders.  Really fucking creepy. Gave us the 'Demons I get, people are crazy' line.  That sets the tone for the rest of the show.  Dean's voice is now gravelly, and not the weird breathy thing that it was in the earlier episodes.  Dean is notable for looking basically the same here as he does in season 15, minus a few crow's feet.  Whereas Sam looks totally different.

Ep 16. Shadow. I skipped this. Turns out to be the one where John comes back (and no doubt continues being a fucking horrendous father) and Meg gets revealed as a bad guy.  I just don't like this Meg.  The actress just doesn't do as much with her as the second Meg actress did.

Ep 17 - Hell House.  It's the Tulpa bringing Mordechai to life, and it's the ghostfacers.  Another group I could have sworn came in much later in the seasons.  Dean is being delightfully butch in this ep.

Ep 18 - Something Wicked. I skipped this because it was about sick children.

Ep 19 - Provenance.  About a a haunted painting.  Glorious.  Wonderful.  One of the best of the season.  Sam gets laid, Dean doesn't.  See  my earlier point about how Sam gets more women than Dean.

Ep 20 - Dead Man's Blood. It's the first lot of vampires on the show.  The brothers didn't know vampires existed beforehand.  The colt is introduced, the vampires seem like they've been pulled out of Buffy and John is back.

Ep 21 - Salvation - this was mostly overshadowed by my hatred of John.  I have no other notes.

Ep 22 - Devil's Trap, the finale.  I love the idea of a Devil's Trap, but am constantly bemused by how they always manage to get the demon in the trap. Sam draws a trap on the car, much to Dean's temper.  Azazel possesses John temporarily, and JDM does a great job of acting Azazel.  The brothers argue about their actions and how they should take deal with Azael.  Then the final scene is a demon ramming the family off the road and they are all knocked out and bloody.  Dun dun DUN.

The opening song was not Kansas' Carry On My Wayward Son and for that Amazon deserve to be beaten.  If it's their fault.

It's a good first season with some truly great episodes in. I am very much looking forward to re-watching season 2.

Supernatural: Dead in the Water and Phantom Traveler

I am not too fussed about Dead in the Water.  Amy Acker is in it, which was interesting, but only out of curiosity.  Dean chatting to the kid is quite sweet.  But it feels far too much like an X files episode, more so than other episodes.  It reminded me that I don't have to re-watch all episodes.  I can skip the ones I don't care about.

Phantom Traveler - I thought this was the one where God saved Dean and Sam from the plane.  It's not.  Still good though. The brothers deal with their first demon (we can only assume, it's not explicitly stated as so, but it's heavily implied).  They talk about being in a confused mental state as making a gateway for a demon to possess you, but that doesn't hold true for later seasons. In later season a demon can possess anyone.  It's possible that it was just their theory at this point.

We also see their first fancy suits, their first homeland security badges and get our first sighting of the EMF meter.  It's enjoyable watching Sam disparage Dean's meter.

Dean's voice is still soft and nasal, and it's odd listening to him when I've just completed what there is of season 15.  Yes, I watched a season 6 clip to check his voice, and it deffo changes.  His basic Dean facial expressions are all there though.  It's great watching actors grow into their roles.

As for the previous episodes, the female supporting characters are treated with respect and have more agency than the male characters.  Good work SPN.

Supernatural: Pilot and Wendigo

We're in a bloody lockdown due to a bloody pandemic and I'm getting stressed to fuck so I decided to watch Supernatural again from the start.  Continuing my mainlining of it.  I have a big long list of things to write about it, so I think I'll get to them ad I rewatch the episodes.

So yesterday I put the Pilot on.  When I first watched it I thought it was dated and some bits were a bit cringey, mostly Sam's hair.  He just always reminded me of Tom Welling in Smallville.  But ona  the rewatch I got SO MUCH MORE out of it.

That's the joy of rewatching something you love, you get more, you understand more, you see foreshadowing (I remember when I first discovered the concept of foreshadowing, it felt absolutely magical to me), you can judge how the characters grow from that point, you can see the bare bones of them, what they started from and you can see the actors grow.

On first watch I perceived it all a setting up episode, the origin story if you will.  I didn't remember much actual plot.  But now, I realised it's the Woman in White storyline.  That has always stayed with me (partly cos I've read so much fic base don it, tbh, but still) .  The boys have stupid hair, yes, I'm not fussed about their origin, although of course it's important, I find the ninja fight scene when Dean breaks into Sam's apartment hilarious - the fights didn't continue like that, that's for sure.  Jared seems far more comfortable as Sam than Jensen is as Dean.

But.  But, but, but.  The groundwork is laid really well.  Their relationship is established well, their shitty upbringing is covered.  Dean's reactions and facial expressions when Sam pisses him off, that's the stuff that continues through all 15 seasons.  It's beautiful to see it start here.

The importance of the car and the music is there.  It's iconic.  The horror story of Supernatural is there - the mysteries, the folklore, the scary shit these guys deal with, easily and confidently.  It is really atmospheric.  It seems to flow much better than on first watch.

Maybe on first watch I was apprehensive because I really really wanted to love the show, and I was worried I wouldn't like it.  But now I know I love it.  So I can just settle in and enjoy it.

I then got half way through episode 2 - Wendigo.  Another folkloric story that I love.  It's not necessarily the way I would portray a Wendigo, but hey I'm flexible.  Then you've got the female characters.  Dean hits on them all, but they are never just love interests.  They are competent, brave, survivors, they learn about the scary stuff and they continue with their lives, dealing with that knowledge. They don't freak out permanently, they react, absorb and process it and then continue. They are competent and they keep on living.  In contrast, most of the fellas in their lives get killed.

I know the show has issues with fridging women.  Let's ignore Mary and Jess' stories just now.  The treatment of the supporting cat of female characters in the early seasons is superb.  When the women start becoming villains later on, that's when I felt the show started to lose it's way.  Before that it was a very male show, male oriented, male stories, male relationships.  But this wasn't delivered at the expense of the women.  I suspect that when this changed was when Kripke, the show's creator (and writer?) left.  I am not sure yet.  I'll work it out when I get there.

I love being so in love with something. Love, love, love it.

Supernatural, let me count the ways I love you

Or, the ways I started to love you, or the ways that I realised I loved you from the beginning.

The music.  Oh the music.  I can't remember ever watching a TV show where the music was so integral to the story.  Guardians of the Galaxy did the same, with Quill's mixtapes (I wanted to call him Kevin there... why.. brain...just why...).  Dean's taste for classic rock permeates every episode, until approximately season 6/7.  It sets the tone, it establishes the brothers' background, it tells you about their tastes, it provides a constant in their chaotic lives.

I found Dean's playlist on Spotify (it's probably this one), and started listening to it and then stuck the songs onto a playlist for myself and now I have a Supernatural theme wherever I go.  As an added bonus, the child now likes Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son.  Don't know it?  It's played at the start of every season finale and it takes all my self control not to whack it up to 11 and throw my arms about.  Here are the lyrics:

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

I have ALL THE FEELS.  Honestly, the song makes me emotional and it wouldn't have done if it were not now indelibly connected with the Winchester brothers.

Dean's appetites. For food and sex.  I think that Dean is a pretty uncomplicated man.  He hunts, he's loyal to his family, he'd do anything for his family, he drinks, he eats, he has sex, he watches Westerns and Scooby Doo and horror films and he's not filled with existential angst.  Mostly.

He loves his food. He takes such great pleasure in his food.  It's an ongoing thing, not a couple of throw away scenes or pieces or dialogue.  I don't recall ever seeing this on a telly show before.  Buffy's Giles had a hankering for jaffa cakes and tea, but usually the specifics of the food isn't such a big thing on telly shows.

Same for the sex.  Dean likes sex, he's often out hooking up with a woman, he'll flirt with everyone, he's usually successful when he's hitting on women, but we also see the times when he's not.  I'm used to prudish America telly, where enjoying sex is reserved for villains, and casual sex is frowned upon.  Again, my mind casts back to Buffy, which had a horrible attitude to sex.  Thinking of Smallville, it was all very vanilla and lovey, until Lois came along and it was clear she liked sex too.  That struck me as unusual when I was watching it, and then she obviously ended up with Clark, presumably having lots of hardcore sex and introducing Clark to kinks.

Dean Winchester doesn't really do long term.  There's a few longish term relationships, but mostly he's just shagging around.  Importantly, these one night stands AREN'T criticised by the show, it's not used to show that he's gone evil, or is possessed, or is on a morally downward spiral.  He just likes sex.  And porn.  He doesn't disrespect the women he shags or watches either.  He just enjoys sex.  I love that.

Sam and Dean's unspoken conversations.

They have all the facial expressions and all the reactions.  They don't need dialogue to get feelings or opinions across, it's all there on their faces, plain as day.  I don't know if the show was planned like that or if it developed from the two main's chemistry, but it works.  They are brothers, growing up they just had each other, their Dad and Bobby.  These physical conversations reinforce that and it;s a really good use of screentime.

The actors' camaraderie.  They just seem like they genuinely like each other.  I like that.

It's a show about brothers.  Family too, but mostly brothers.  I don't usually like such male oriented shows but this works.  I have a lot of thoughts about how the women in the shows are treated too, but that is a whole other blogpost.  It will include joy and rage. 

There is a frigging twitter called Jared as Cats.  How can you not love a show that inspires such delightfully mad fandom?

That's it for tonight. More tomorrow. Probably.

All Supernatural, all the time

Hello world.  It's been 21 months since I last posted here but now I have Thoughts I want to gabble on about.

If anyone has looked at this blog over the last 5 and a half years they will have noticed a distinct lack of posts, and of those posts, the tone changed somewhat from mid 2014.  As much as I feel strange bringing up my dead child into what seems every topic conceivable, the death of my child changed everything.  It took me out of everything I was enamoured with and my connection to random internet dudes with seemingly normal, happy, un-traumatised lives.

Yes I know that you can never tell what is going on in someone else's life, especially when you just read internet personas, but that's how it felt.

I kept buying comics, irregularly, and I tried really hard to regain the enthusiasm I once had, and it was in there, but buried, and I still can't quite connect with it.  I've been a comics fan my whole life, and a serious comics reader from age 23 ish.  Comics, superheroes, DC comics, are part of my DNA.  I really wanted to take part in them again.  For fuck's sake, I named my child after Superman.  I fucking love comics.  But because of all that, 5.5 and a bit years on, I am still finding it difficult to get swallowed up by them.

I've watched tons of superhero telly and films.  I've got my fix that way.  Some shows are better than others.  Some gave what I want, some didn't.  Titans series 1 is fucking awesome.  I haven't managed to watch series 2 yet.

Then last year I cancelled netflix and got Amazon Prime.  I watched a few shows and got very into them.  Then I settled down to watch Supernatural.  A friend has been into it forever, and it's always been on my list to watch, and then Prime had seasons 1-13 available.

So last October 31st, I watched episode 1.

It's now mid March and I've watched all available episodes, which is mid to season 15, the final season, now airing in the States.  They went on filming hiatus, presumably to do cons, and now the poxy plague has halted filming.

But that's 318 episodes (assuming I can count right), in 4.5 months.  I think I watched 1 episode of Picard and a few Teen Titans Go eps in this period, but no other telly really.

I fucking love this show.  I haven't felt so excited about anything since pre-2014.  That includes all the Star Trek episodes barring TOS that I marathon'd a couple of years ago.  And I bloody love Trek.

I care about the characters haircuts and food choices, and relationships, and personality depths, and in jokes, and the depiction of the monsters, and I have got my own headcanon for various episodes, and I love to hate some characters and plot developments, and I have shouted about my passion for this on facebook, and on twitter, and I CARE.  I care about who they fuck and who they fight, I imagine what would happen if they crossed over with the Discworld, I do comparative analyses of Supernatural vs Buffy in my head, I care about the philosophy of the show, the theology, the morals, the music, the actor's acting styles, the clothes.  I care about what the show has to say about women and about men and about justice.  I care that it has queer characters where being queer isn't a plot point, it's just normal.

I have fallen hard and fast for it and I am a fan again.  I fucking love fandom.  The passion and the nitpicking and the camaraderie and the jokes and the seriousness and the passion.  Fandom of nay sort can be pretty toxic, Supernatural has it's own toxic fandom, but on the whole I'm happy to be a part of it again.

Over the last few months I have had Thoughts about The Show buzzing around my head, but I was too busy watching it to write anything down.  Now I'm all caught up I have time to write, and to get my thoughts down.  Some will be Serious Thoughts, some will be Fluffy Thoughts.  This is the first post and now I need to work out what I'm going to do next.  And how to tag these posts because I swear, I have totally forgotten what my lists of labels are.

New year goals - an update

In January I wrote about what I wanted to achieve this year. In February I did an update.  I want to update again, so here goes.

Find a work/life balance

- Achieved.  I have been part time in a  new role since March and my mental health has improved considerably.  I still get tied up in knots and make stupid decisions but the balance is vastly, vastly better.

Spend more time with my toddler.

- As I now work 2.5 days a week only I get lots more time with my boy and it's wonderful.  I've got to know him much better, we do loads of fun things and he is much happier having me around more.  I've had a period of several weeks of frustration and crossness as he goes through a difficult phase, but that is far preferable to working full time in a job I don't like and can't do.

Teach the toddler to say thank you, tidy up after himself and like vegetables.

- He is now so polite! He says please, thank you and you're welcome in nearly every appropriate situation.  Other people comment on how polite and kind he is.  I'm in awe of his manners, he's better than me.  After prompting, he now tidies up with little complaint.  He is also eating vegetables now - that was clearly just a developmental thing and just took time for him to get there but he's got a better diet now.

Do yoga a few times a week

- Not managed this. But I have booked an outside personal trainer session for next weekend so we'll see how that goes.

Spend less money

- Given that I earn a lot less than I did I am now far more careful with money and I budget for and record everything I spend, so I am far more in control now.

Work on reducing my trichotillomania symptoms

- I started having electrolysis in August and my electrologist is amazing.  After my first session with her I threw away the tweezers.  15 years of relying on the damn things and I threw them away with not much concern. Since the start of August I have plucked on two occasions, which were each days that an appointment was cancelled.  Inbetween appointments I shave or trim my chin hairs and the only hair removal is by my electrologist at the appointment. I have just done 2 weeks without having any hair removed by myself or her (due to a gap in appointments).  I never ever thought I would be able to do that.  My skin is looking far better, far less pink, and the hairs are considerably finer and lighter in colour,  I am amazed.

Be more appreciative of my parents

- Hmm. I don't know if I do this, I can't be objective about my relationship with them.

Get my asthma and knee twinges under control

- Asthma is up and down. I took ibuprofen for a knee flare up and it made me wheezy.  My knee flare ups are less regular than they were, but I do need to work on strengthening the muscles.  Hopefully the personal trainer can help with that.

Cycle to work more - don't get the bus because it is easy.

- I usually cycle.  If my asthma is acting up, or my knee, I get the bus, but mostly I cycle.  I have realised how exhausted I was in my last job so actually I don't feel bad about not cycling in every day then.

Give up sugar for lent

- I did this. It was really hard, then easy, then hard again.  It hasn't stopped me wanting sugar but I go through periods of reducing my sugar intake. I'll do it again next year.