Working does wonders for your self esteem.
I am definitely aiming to get a job part time, 3 or 4 days a week, in order that I can keep up my signing, get qualified and evantually get a(nother) job in that field.
This may mean I am skint for the next 3 or 4 years. I think I am fine with this.
Finding part time work that pays well (or enough) may be tricky.
Working out a plan, aims/goals, and what's important to you is a vital thing to do. This should prevent me having another wobble when my part time temp work (that I got with a previous employer a few weeks ago) ends next Wednesday.
Of course, I may change my wants and goals next week, or tomorrow. This changeability of mind is a thing that I do. I am simutaneously unable to live in the present, whilst also stewing on things and being unable to make links with better/worse times that have come before, or will come in the future - I have no idea if that makes sense or is even good English.
Applying for jobs and prepping for interviews takes soooo long, but is good practice even if you don't want the job (must remember that!) (I've had one interview earlier this week and have another one next week).
Apparently my stress levels no longer show themselves as mouth ulcers , now they have progressed to the bad back and indigestion stages instead. Wonderful.
Having said that, I think I am prepared for being unemployed again. I feel much stronger than I did 2 weeks ago, a lot surer of myself, and a lot more capable. Even to the extent that I cannot remember or fully connect with how I felt when I was melting - this non rememberance/feeling is another thing that I do and that it occured again came as no great surprise to me. C'est la vie.
Oh, and everyone who left me a concerned comment: You're all wonderful. Your kind words and thoughts meant a lot to me and I am truly touched. Thank you.