I have always considered myself a tired person. I have always complained that I'm tired, that I don't want to stand up any longer, that I need more sleep. It got worse in my first trimester so I started taking iron tablets at around 12 weeks, and I perked right up. As my baby grew I got progressively more tired, until I was absolutely shattered for the last few weeks. Pregnant readers - go on maternity leave at 34 weeks, don't wait till 37, it's hard work!
I went back to work a month ago and you'd think I would again be knackered. But I'm not. I have energy. I don't want to go bed at 9.30 or 10 every night. I can do things. And I can focus! I can work and make decisions! I guess baby brain is a real thing after all. It's odd how things sneak up on you. I didn't notice my sluggishness when pregnant,and now with this extra energy that doesn't waver my life feels even more surreal.
I'm also slightly anemic, so I figure if I start taking iron tablets I'll be bouncing off the walls.
I sit here, at the doctor's surgery, with my arms resting on my flesh and my belt, and for the life of me I still feel pregnant. I feel this bulk of flesh that I associate with pregnancy. I remember it took me a while to feel like I had a proper bump, a full on expanding outwards big pregnant belly, and I was, of course, much bigger than I am now, and differently shaped.
Yet now, I sit here and I rest my arms on my sides and I feel pregnant. I wonder if other post natal women feel the same or if it's a feeling experienced only by those who have lost their babies.
I went back to work a month ago and you'd think I would again be knackered. But I'm not. I have energy. I don't want to go bed at 9.30 or 10 every night. I can do things. And I can focus! I can work and make decisions! I guess baby brain is a real thing after all. It's odd how things sneak up on you. I didn't notice my sluggishness when pregnant,and now with this extra energy that doesn't waver my life feels even more surreal.
I'm also slightly anemic, so I figure if I start taking iron tablets I'll be bouncing off the walls.
I sit here, at the doctor's surgery, with my arms resting on my flesh and my belt, and for the life of me I still feel pregnant. I feel this bulk of flesh that I associate with pregnancy. I remember it took me a while to feel like I had a proper bump, a full on expanding outwards big pregnant belly, and I was, of course, much bigger than I am now, and differently shaped.
Yet now, I sit here and I rest my arms on my sides and I feel pregnant. I wonder if other post natal women feel the same or if it's a feeling experienced only by those who have lost their babies.
My dear, I am slightly confused. Did you lose your baby? If that is the case, than I am sincerely so sorry.
ReplyDeleteHi Sally. Yes, our son was stillborn at 37 and a half weeks, in June. The doctors have no idea why as he was perfectly healthy and, I think, pretty darn amazing. Apparently it's quite common for children to die before birth - 1 in 200 pregnancies end with the child being stillborn. Not that anyone told us until it happened.
ReplyDeleteI've made it sound really matter of fact of fact. It's not, it wasn't and it isn't but I don't really know how else to tell people.
Thank you for your concern, I appreciate it.
I am SO sorry. And I am amazed at how well you are handling it all. Not sure that I could. I don't know what to say that could possibly be of comfort, except that someday, it will get better.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sally. I'm not sure how well I am handling it, it's just that I'm not putting everything on here. Maybe more posts will come, maybe they won't.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope that you never have to handle this.
Thank you for the kind words and the thoughts, it means a lot.
I know what you mean. When I eat a bit too much or feel bloated the excess skin around my middle puffs up and I forget and think I am pregnant still. Or maybe I just wish I was. I do still think its May most the time. x
ReplyDeleteI've had massive problems knowing what month it is. It's only recently I've started accepting it's October and not June still.
ReplyDelete